I am telling you right now that his made me almost pee my pants. Let me tell you why. Pull up a chair. Actually don't, this will be quick. My fiancé has a Chinese lettering tattoo on that exact arm and when I first met him I smiled, touched his awesomely buff arms and asked "what does that mean"? He replied: "I dunno, I just thought it looked cool". Come to find out the symbol my oh so hardass fiancé got meant... THE... haha. Go ahead, laugh. It's ok. It's hilarious.

 I need a pair of these and when I put them on it means leave mama the hell alone for 30 minutes so she can have a glass wine and bitch it out on her blog ;-)

Toddler Contractions....

In a matter of 3 minutes I walked in the house from grocery shopping. Who let the dogs out? I did. Got this kids in from the cold, and unloaded the boodle. (I am not quite sure what to call this?...Lets call it Toddler Contractions because it only occurs for a few minutes and it's shocking, and somewhat hellish.) But, literally within 3 minutes 1 kid spilt an entire Gatorade, 2 dogs came in from what looked like a mud bog and chased the kids all over the house, and another one shit their pants, laughed about it, ran away from me and smashed their face into the wall, cried, and laughed again. I literally just said F*it and grabbed a glass of wine. Is it 5? Don't care. lol. Holy hell.

What I hope for Mommy Chronicles..

I have been told I need my own blog for awhile now, and here it is! I finally started one! Most of you that will be reading this funny mommy blog know me, but I want to expand this blog to it's fullest and end up with big awesome following! I hope that when you come to this blog you will get something from it, whether it's a laugh, a good story, or a lesson I have learned and want to share with you. I learn a lesson every day and I love to read, explore and learn. So, basically I am my own science project!  Especially with Pinterest projects. "(Lawdy)"- I have had some Pinterest fails that are pretty hilarious.

 I am also a young mom, therefore my kid is my little science project as well. Poor little guy, haha. Hey. I will know what I am doing with my second one. I was the first child, I know how it goes.
 I really would enjoy reader participation! Whatever I blurt about, please feel free to share anything that's on your mind through a comment. All I ask is, (Play nice,with others)....

 Eventually, I want to get an anonymous advice column started.
I know sometimes I could use some advice from someone who doesn't even know me and has no reason to judge. If I can do that here through positive advice from the followers it will make this blog a really good read, and a great place to visit in between your morning coffee, lunch break and late night bubble baths ;-)

One more thing- I have a very sarcastic sense of humor, take what I say with two intentions. First, LAUGH! Second, with a grain of salt. I drink and swear, well not profusely, well... unless its huckleberry wine. Well! That's neither here nor there! ;-) Haha! Please enjoy this blog with all your heart!

Thanks for stopping by and reading my mommy random's, recipes and rants! Enjoy!

-The real (spoof) housewife of Idaho
xoxo ;-)